Ear update-- and holiday tune

Yes, I have an ear update, but in the spirit of NOT boring you with the normal let-me-tell-you-funky-things-about-my-body-and-its-function talk, I’ve set the story to music… Sort of. I’m still a low tech blogger, so you’ll have to hum the tune in your head and read the words.

Ear news—to the tune of “Little Drummer Boy”

I’m having problems, pa rum pa pum pum
Some instacare guy said I tore my ear drum
I do not trust the man, pa rum pa pum pum
So I sought extra help pa rum pa pum pum,
Rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum,
For my ear drum.

My scuba teacher pa rum pa pum.
He is an EMT, pa rum pa pum,
He works with hyperbaric chamber-um-bums
I thought I’d ask him about my-ear drum, my- ear drum, rum pa pum pum.
He took a look inside at my-ear drum.
And said the doctor was dumb.

“I’ve seen a lot of ears,” pa rum pa pum pum.
“There’s nothing wrong with yours,” par rum pa pum pum.
“But he’s no doc, I thought,” pa rum pa pum pum.
“I’d better see someone who knows the ear drum, specialist-come, see my ear drum, rum pa pum, pum.
Went to an E.N.T., pa rum pa pum pum,
He took a closer look, pa rum pa pum pum,
He said it’s just a bit bruised, on your ear drum
But your ears have some probs, pa rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum,
Poor little ear drum.

“Can I still scuba?” pa rum pa pum, pum.
“I’m going to Mexico,” pa rum pa pum, pum.
“I’ve got a wetsuit coming from E-bay fun, E-bay fun, E-bay fun.”
“What have I done?”
“To my ear drum.”

“I wouldn’t dive for a week or two.”
“Give your poor ears a rest, don’t be-a fool.”
“Here is some medicine, pa rum pa pum pool,
“Now just be careful there pa rum pa pum pool, dum de dum dool, dum de dum dool.

Then, he smiled at me, pa rum pa pum, pum.
Me n my ear drum.

Of course, here’s the bombshell: while I was there he had an audiologist do some tests and figured out that my poor injured ear isn’t clearing correctly (that we knew). I’m trying some meds. But the audiologist also thinks I might have otosclerosis. This I have no song for. I looked it up. If it’s true it means I’m gradually losing my hearing, and there’s no cure. There’s surgery if it gets really bad, but the surgery sounds like a crap shoot. Not quite sure what to do with this.

So, I thought about giving up the scuba thing. I don’t think I want to do anything that risks permanently injuring my ears. Then again, I’m not sure I’m buying the diagnosis, and the doctor would have told me not to dive if that mattered, right?

We shall see. In the meantime, I'm staying topside for a week or so.